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DAVID LESTER ART

Normal History Vol. 73: The Art Of David Lester

Every Saturday, we’ll be posting a new illustration by David Lester. The Mecca Normal guitarist is visually documenting people, places and events from his band’s 26-year run, with text by vocalist Jean Smith.

“The songs I heard online seem to mock erotic notions,” Rueben says on the phone.

“I’m sorry you interpreted them that way,” I say. “I don’t intend to mock erotic notions.”

“Can you elaborate more on the men you wrote those songs about? Are any of them rock stars that I’d know of?”

“No, they’re not rock stars,” I laugh. “They’re just guys from the general population—not musicians. The architect in the song ‘Attraction Is Ephemeral’ was not actually an architect, but he was one of several men I met with a performance issue. I think internet dating is a bit of a haven for impotent men. I think they want to see how they’re doing with their problem, but they prefer to go outside their own social setting so word doesn’t get around about them.”

“Poor guy.”

“Well, it isn’t that great being the woman in the situation. I felt like I’d failed to arouse him. He was quite a superficial man, anyway. Not a particularly interesting person. He was all wrapped up in his divorce and he had his two tiny children in a bunk bed in his bedroom and he had a former lover stalking him, yet he was worried about me not wearing the right designer labels.”

Rueben giggles freakishly. “Well, there is something to be said for the well-dressed woman,” he says.

“I like nice things, but I couldn’t really compete with him—he wore $1,600 suits.”

“That seems a bit steep for a suit,” says Rueben. “What was it made out of? Mink?”

“One night I was standing here, ready to go out to dinner, wearing a pair of vintage shoes and 100-percent pure silk dress and he made some crack about getting changed before we went out. We were going to an Indian restaurant. I was probably over-dressed as it was.”

“Maybe you took it the wrong way,” Rueben says. “He was probably just teasing you.”

“I don’t think so. Anyway, the other guy I wrote a couple of songs about owns a construction company. ‘I’m Not Into Being The Woman You’re With While You’re Looking For The Woman You Want.’

“I love that title, by the way,” says Rueben.

“It pretty well sums up the experience I’ve had. Guys return to the dating website to keep looking after they’ve started something with me.”

I am looking at ferry and bus schedules online. It seems impractical to continue building something between us in phone conversations and the emotionally heightened terrain of email. Perhaps Rueben sees an advantage to making a stronger bond prior to meeting. I want to see him in person before such a bond begins.

“Listen,” I say. “I think I will come to visit you.”

“I am extremely flattered to think that you’d come all this way to meet me.”

“If we are going to continue communicating it’s important that we meet, the sooner the better. And besides, it’s not that far and it’s a beautiful trip. I can get there late morning and catch an early-evening ferry back.”

“We’ll have a picnic. I make a mean lemon chicken.”

“The meaner the better,” I laugh. “Can I bring something? Maybe something you can’t get over there. Something special from Vancouver.”

“Do they still make those Portuguese buns?”

“Anyone who asks if they still make Portuguese buns definitely needs a delivery of Portuguese buns,” I laugh.

“You don’t have to bring a whole dozen.”

“I’m a weight-lifter. I work at a gym. I think I can carry a dozen buns.”