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From The Desk Of Jon Glaser: Stumptown Coffee

You may recognize Jon Glaser, but probably only if he’s wearing a black ski mask. The NYC-based comedian writes, stars in and does pretty much everything else for Adult Swim’s Delocated, a reality-show spoof about a man in witness protection after testifying against the Russian mafia. This is where the ski mask comes in: To protect his identity from his television audience (and, obviously, the Russian mafia), Glaser’s character, aptly named Jon, wears a black ski mask and has his voice surgically distorted. Glaser started his career at Chicago’s esteemed Second City, and he’s since appeared in TV shows and films alongside some of his fellow comedians, with credits such as 30 Rock, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Baby Mama and as voice talent in Aqua Teen Hunger Force. He spent five years writing and performing at Late Night With Conan O’Brien and recently published his first book, My Dead Dad Was In ZZ Top. Season three of Delocated is currently underway, and it’s well worth getting into. Wanna get to know the man behind the mask? Glaser will be guest editing magnetmagazine.com all week. Read our brand new Q&A with him.

Glaser: A few years ago, I had heard how great it was, but I had stopped drinking coffee for awhile so I didn’t bother trying it. Then Stumptown opened their own cafe in New York. The whole scene couldn’t have been more annoying, with the hipster aesthetic for the staff and long lines snaking out into the lobby of the trendy hotel the cafe adjoins. So then I really didn’t bother. Finally, I decided to try it when I met an old friend who worked near the Stumptown Cafe, and I got a latte, and it was amazing. Turns out that I’m the asshole, missing out on good coffee because I was too busy wasting my time judging what the staff was wearing, all while I myself dress like an idiot. What a fucking dick.

Video after the jump.