From The Desk Of Martin Carr: Cadbury Chocolate

Martin Carr first made a name for himself in the early ’90s as the guitarist/songwriter of the Boo Radleys, whose Everything’s Alright Forever (1992), Giant Steps (1993) and Wake Up! (1995) remain essential listening from the Britpop era. The Boos disbanded in 1999, and Carr began releasing records under the bravecaptain moniker for the better part of a decade before issuing Ye Gods (And Little Fishes) under his own name in 2009. Carr is back with third solo LP New Shapes Of Life (Tapete), a compact, sophisticated and personal pop album inspired in part by the death of David Bowie. Carr will be guest editing all week.

Carr: Cadbury launched the Dairy Milk in 1905, and why anybody else still bothers making chocolate bars is anyone’s guess. I’ve done all the drugs, I’ve gambled, I’ve smoked, I drink … Nothing does it for me the way Cadbury chocolate does it. Creamier than a cow orgy and sweeter than the sun. It’s so sweet my teeth dislodge themselves and cower at the back of my mouth whenever they see some of that golden brown coming their way. To be kept in the fridge—it’s the law. (Boyle’s Law Of Refrigerated Choccy Bars, 1674).

Top Three Cadbury Bars
1. Wispa Gold!
2. Crunchie! (“Fuck you!” —my teeth)
3. Dairy Milk!

Special prize goes to the Dairy Milk Big Taste Triple Choc for services to diabetes.