Every Saturday, we’ll be posting a new illustration by David Lester. The Mecca Normal guitarist is visually documenting people, places and events from his band’s 28-year run, with text by vocalist Jean Smith.
I felt terrible leaving Vancouver. Deeply stressed and utterly exhausted. I started to have a panic attack as we settled into our seats on the plane. I had a very strong urge to push through the clogged aisle and get out of there. Poor Dave. I asked him to talk about what we were going to do in Miami to subdue the anxiety rising. This helped a bit, but I told him I would have to have a drink if it didn’t subside. As a non-drinker for more than a dozen years, this was the closest I’ve ever come to having a drink. Weirdly, just saying it, knowing a shot of whiskey would actually work, reduced the panic to a manageable level.
My nerves were shot for the first day, but as we got started—and all my plans enacted smoothly—I was able to focus with only a few mental intrusions of where I left the situation at home.
To get the record done, I needed to be beyond communication. Some days I think I should go and live with them, but there are many other combinations of possibilities swirling around. I cannot foresee how it will all play out. After watching my Dad go from a lucid individual to a delirious and fragile old man, I have more faith that I can cope with whatever happens. I think it’ll be the amount of time involved that gets me. I’m good in a crisis, but selfish when it comes to giving up creativity.
“Nobody’s Asking,” from Flood Plain (K, 1993) (download):
