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From The Desk Of The Waterboys’ Mike Scott: Avoiding “Last Christmas”

Mike Scott is pop’s only literate lyricist who would dare take on the stately iconography of William Butler Yeats. Forget about the living proof provided by his band the Waterboys as they tackle the Irishman’s prickly poems through a series of 14 daringly diverse arrangements on the new An Appointment With Mr. Yeats (Proper American). You’d know that if you’ve listened to Scott’s richly robust catalog of Waterboys albums made since 1983, or even read his recently released book, Adventures Of A Waterboy. Though imbued with an intellectual curiosity beyond that of the most wizened scholar, Scott has long found himself inspired by Yeats’ vivid world-weary lyrical textures and smartly grammatical manner. On the other hand, he’s a big Twitter fan. Go figure. Scott will also be guest editing magnetmagazine.com all week. Read our new Q&A with him.

Wham

Every December, as the holiday season approaches, I buy and wrap presents, make travel plans, anticipate the darkening of the year with all its promise of renewal and the spring beyond, and, perhaps most of all, avoid my least favourite pop song ever, the most un-Christmassy Christmas record of all time, Geordie Michael and Wham’s deeply satanic “Last Christmas.”

It’s not as if I’m unsympathetic to Geordie himself. I like his self-deprecating humour, and while I’ve never bought one of his records, being unseasoned to his brand of pop, I recognise his dedication and his love for music. Fair play to him, as the Irish might say.

But “Last Christmas”? That’s a different story. I hate this simpering, wimpy record with every strand of my DNA and loathe its hijacking of the airwaves each December. An so to avoid it I have developed several cunning strategies. If I find myself in a taxi with a pop radio station playing that sounds like it might program “Last Christmas,” I ask the cabbie to change it. If I’m in a shop with one of those cheesy Christmas albums playing, I calculate the odds of it featuring “Last Christmas,” and if they are greater than 0.5 percent, I remain on supreme-alert, ready to run out, hands over my ears, if I hear that insipid intro groove start up. If I find myself in a restaurant and they are playing Christmas music, I ask them to change it. I never leave the radio or TV on. Etc.

I am relieved to report that I survived the holidays seasons of 2009, 2010, 2011 and 2012 without my sensibilities being assaulted by “Last Christmas.” To those of who you have heard it, I extend my sympathy.