From The Desk Of The Muffs: My Favorite Three First-Thing-In-The-Morning On Tour Routines

After a decade adrift, the Muffs have gotten their melodic pop groove back. Frontwoman Kim Shattuck has reunited with longtime backing members Ronnie Barnett (bass) and Roy McDonald (drums) for Whoop Dee Doo (Cherry Red/Burger). The Los Angeles-based trio will also be guest editing all week. Read our brand-new feature on the band.


Shattuck: 1) Wake up slowly. There’s no way I’m going to pop up and spring out of bed. Who does that? They are obviously robots. I peek my eyeballs open just a bit. I roll over to my other side and fart. A long fart that ends in a question mark. Yes, I’m a girl. Sorry to bum you out. I fart.

2) Then I get out my phone and look on the map for the nearest good coffee. Luckily, it’s the only thing I’m addicted to. (Besides potato chips and red lipstick; see below.) I refuse to get room-service coffee. It reminds me of Breakfast At Tiffany’s for some reason. And it’s never as good as Starbucks or Peets. I’ll drink in-room coffee if I’m desperate, but they never have good creamer. Just that suntan-lotion-smelling stuff or even worse, powdered creamer.

3) Then I put the aforementioned lipstick on. Full-on red lipstick. I do not bathe before coffee. No hair is combed. No soap, nothing. I am in love with red lipstick. It makes me feel good. But it’s ridiculously hard to keep it on straight, and it gets on everything. I wear it religiously. Ladies who wear those pearly pinkish beige lipsticks and still look good confuses the shit out of me. I just end up looking dead if I do that.